Horsefly Buzzings: Hands off my wallet, Mr. Insurance Man!

Horsefly Buzzings: Hands off my wallet, Mr. Insurance Man!

By Jerry Couey
September 27, 2007

Well I’m back buzzing again…

Thanks to all of you that have asked me to continue to buzz.

In this week’s episode, I want to buzz about my wallet -- it seems to me that even when my wallet is in my pocket, it’s not safe!

Let’s buzz about the so-called insurance reform.

I don’t know about you but I can not afford any more government help. For starters I live 50 miles from the coast line and have only had two claims since 1984. I was buzzing along at $890.00 per year before Ivan.

I, like the rest of you, expected to see an increase, which I did. I buzzed a bit, but hey -- $1150.00 per year was a number I could live with.

In the meantime, my governor said “HE WAS THE MAN,” and was going to get these insurance bullies in line.

Well, I had insurance into 2006 when “THE LETTER” was delivered to my house. I almost buzzed myself to death.

‘Dear Mr. Horsefly, we do appreciate all the hundreds of thousands of dollars you have sent us, but BUZZ OFF. We have decided we don’t need you anymore.’

I buzzed so loud that I woke the dog and scared the cat.

“WHAT,” I buzzed, “you don’t need me? By my calculation, you are still in the black even with my Ivan damage.”

The next good news was that I was going to have to search for a new insurance company, and Mr. Crist also wanted me to fund Citizens Insurance.

“Fund Citizens?” I buzzed…

Who are these people who are insured by Citizens? I wondered.

After some buzzing around, I found that they are the people who have a great view (ocean front) and live in very large houses. Now don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy the sight of my neighbor across the street -- but I don’t think it compares to the sunrise on the Gulf of Mexico.

In my humble opinion, everything that is built within 3 miles of the coast should be self-insured.

I would not mind helping if I could keep my sail boat in their yard, but I’m sure someone with a gun would accuse me of trespassing if I tried that.

I, unlike the freeloaders on the beach, have made good decisions and I do not think I should have to pay for their foolishness.

Certainly I must buzz a Bible verse here:

“A wise man builds his house upon a rock, a foolish man builds his house upon the sand.”

I finally did get some insurance for $2,200.00 per year, and out of the goodness of their hearts, the insurers let me pay by the quarter.

Now back to the whole purpose of my buzz.

Note to Charlie and the boys: please don’t help me anymore. And if help you must, may I make some suggestions:

1) Shut down Citizens today
2) Force anything within 3 miles of the coast to be self insured
3) Do not allow any insurance company to have more than one division
4) Keep your mouth shut if you are not going to do anything to help me

Jerry Couey, a lifelong Milton resident, has been an active participant in area politics since he can remember. A recent public records search suggests that his efforts are not going unnoticed – local officials refer to Jerry as a “horsefly” in past county email traffic. Jerry has elected to embrace the new moniker, make it his own, and honor the spirit of its intent to the best of his ability. Keep an eye out for more of Jerry’s intrepid explorations into substances perhaps otherwise best left near horses.