what is a rino

What is a RINO?

By Jerry Couey
November 5, 2007

When first was asked what a RINO was, I replied that it was the large animal at the zoo with a big horn.

The man who asked me the question said I was wrong, but would not give me the answer. He told me to study the issue in the REPUBLICAN HANDBOOK which all TRUE REPUBLICANS are supposed to live by.

I first had to find a copy of the handbook.

You see for years I had heard what a TRUE REPUBLICAN was supposed to do, but I wanted to see it in writing.

Well, I finally found a copy and found that it had six chapters. So I started my quest to answer the burning question of what a RINO is and where can I see one.

Chapter 1: thou shalt never raise taxes
Chapter 2: thou shalt believe in personal responsibility
Chapter 3: thou shalt believe in personal and property rights
Chapter 4: thou shalt work to help the taxpayer
Chapter 5: thou shalt always work to reduce government
Chapter 6: thou shalt never ignore the taxpayer

Through all of this reading I did not see one word about a RINO so I continued my search.

I went back to the man who asked me about a RINO and asked for help. He gave me a hint by saying that anyone who does not follow the REPUBLICAN HANDBOOK would be a RINO.

After some thought I told the man that by that definition there were many RINO’S.

I told him that I found many examples of increasing the size of government.

I saw where huge numbers of employee’s had been hired and huge increases in budgets.

I saw where many laws were passed that took rights away from citizens.

I saw elections where taxes were attempted to be increased. I noted that taxpayers were ignored and phone calls not returned.

I watched a story where taxpayers’ property rights were trashed in the name of progress.

Still I did not have the answer.

Finally with a sad look on his face the man gave me the answer. It is an acronym and it stands for a REPUBLICAN IN NAME ONLY.

Well the great quest was over. I thought RINO’S would be hard to find, but little did I know.

The reason that I had not seen any RINO’S is because I was flat on my back being stomped and kicked by the RINO’S.

You see the landscape is so full of RINO’S that the taxpayers can no longer support their habits.

Election Day will soon be here and anyone who wants to join the RINO EXTERMINATION TEAM please give me a call.

In the year 2008 we will expect a very large harvest of RINO’S so join the fun and help eliminate this evil beast.

Jerry Couey, a lifelong Milton resident, has been an active participant in area politics since he can remember. A recent public records search suggests that his efforts are not going unnoticed – local officials refer to Jerry as a “horsefly” in past county email traffic. Jerry has elected to embrace the new moniker, make it his own, and honor the spirit of its intent to the best of his ability. Keep an eye out for more of Jerry’s intrepid explorations into substances perhaps otherwise best left near horses.